Leave out all the Rest
by Twilightstar7
Summary: Randel is dealing with some tough memories, but he finds something to help him pull through.


**Hey everybody! Here's my Pumpkin Scissors drabble/song fic! It was inspired by Linkin Parks's "Leave out all the rest." I love the song and you should all listen to it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own pumpking scissors, but a girl can dream...right?**

Leave Out all the Rest

_When my time comes_  
_Forget the wrong that I've done_  
_Help me leave behind some_  
_Reasons to be missed_  
_And don't resent me_  
_And when you're feeling empty_  
_Keep me in your memory_  
_Leave out all the rest_  
_Leave out all the rest_

Snow fell gently from a cloud laden sky. Everything was silent, save for the chatter of two homeless men huddling around a garbage can fire and the purring of Randel's cats. The large man scratched one of the seven cats, which were currently draped across body, between the ears. The orange tabby purred, bringing a smile to his face. He was happy, legitimately happy. And when Randel thought about it (moments like these always made him think after all), he'd been happy for a while now.

Actually, Randel couldn't remember the last time he was this happy. He was sure that he must have felt this way before joining the 901st, but no matter how hard he tried, the memories just wouldn't come forth. A quick glance to his side revealed the reason for this. He placed his gloved hand on top of the lantern to hide it from his sight. The thing completed and destroyed him at the same time. With the blue light, no man could stop him from doing anything. The problem was that sometimes Randel couldn't stop himself either.

Not only did the contraption flip the switch in his mind that turned him into a killing machine, it affected memories as well. It had started out as blackouts. Randel would be turning on the lantern one second and the next he would be drenched in blood that wasn't his. The blackouts had been a mercy until he began forgetting other things, things he should know. What was his mother's name? What did she look like? Did she know of the terrible crimes her son had committed? Did he even have a mother anymore…

Then the blackouts stopped happening and the only things that Randel could remember were the deeds that he had committed while under the influence of the blue light. The nightmares followed that stage…oh, the nightmares…

Bile rose up the back of his throat at the thought of the cursed dreams. He pulled one of his cats close to his chest and he tried to ignore the sensation of being dragged into a sea of blood. Just thinking about it blurred the line between reality and his nightmarish visions. How far were they from reality anyways? He'd done so many terrible things. Randel shuddered and waited for the hallucination to end. He could taste the blood in his mouth. He could feel the nails of the corpses digging into his skin.

It was when he decided that he couldn't take it anymore, that he heard something that banished the gruesome visions. It was his saving grace. The voice, that had come to bring so many of his nightmares to an abrupt ends, rang in his ears. It was softer than the tinkling of bells and more beautiful to him than a song by a chorus of angels. A vision of Alice Malvin wavered before his eyes. Her hands were on her hips and she gazed at him determinedly.

"What are you doing sitting around Corporal Oland?" She demanded and made a grand gesture with her arm, "There's war relief to be done! Get up and get to work!"

"Yes ma'am." Randel saluted the hallucination as it flickered and then blinked out of existence.

In that moment Randel had a bit of an epiphany. It didn't matter if he lacked any memories of his life before becoming a soldier. He could make new ones. They wouldn't consist of horrific endeavors, but of soup kitchens and of taking down corrupt nobles. They would be good memories and if he didn't use the lantern as often, maybe he wouldn't forget them as often. Maybe someday he wouldn't need it anymore…

One of his cats brushed up against his elbow and he smiled again. For the first time in a long while, life was good. He would start to remember happier things and start being remembered for the right reasons. All the rest would be left out.

**~Thanks for reading! Reviews make me smile! (even if they're short)~**


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